Music Humor
Posted on 01/10/08
All the musicians out there will appreciate this joke that was sent our way.In order to keep you abreast of the ever-developing world of musical terminology, we provide herewith the latest additions to the esteemed Harvard Dictionary of Music:
ALLREGRETTO When you're 16 measures into the piece and realize you took too fast a tempo
ANGUS DEI To play with a divinely beefy tone
A PATELLA Accompanied by knee-slapping
APPOLOGGIATURA A composition that you regret playing
APPROXIMATURA A series of notes not intended by the composer, yet played with an "I meant to do that" attitude
APPROXIMENTO A musical entrance that is somewhere in the vicinity of the correct pitch
CACOPHANY [aka CACOUGHONY] A composition incorporating many people with chest colds
CORAL SYMPHONY A large, multi-movement work from Beethoven's Caribbean Period
DILL PICCOLINI An exceedingly small wind instrument that plays only sour notes
FERMANTRA A note held over and over and over and over and . . .
FERMOOTA A note of dubious value held for indefinite length
FIDDLER CRABS Grumpy string players
FLUTE FLIES Those tiny mosquitoes that bother musicians on outdoor gigs
FRUGALHORN A sensible and inexpensive brass instrument
GAUL BLATTER A French horn player
GREGORIAN CHAMP The title bestowed upon the monk who can hold a note the longest
GROUND HOG Someone who takes control of the repeated bass line and won't let anyone else play it
PLACEBO DOMINGO A faux tenor
SCHMALZANDO A sudden burst of music from the Guy Lombardo band
THE RIGHT OF STRINGS Manifesto of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Violists
SPRITZICATO An indication to string instruments to produce a bright and bubbly sound
TEMPO TANTRUM What an elementary school orchestra is having when it's not following the conductor
TROUBLE CLEF Any clef one can't read: e.g., alto clef for pianists
VESUVIOSO An indication to build up to a fiery conclusion
VIBRATTO Child prodigy son of the concertmaster
